We can't make this up, nor would we really want to. Troyer may be small, but his heart breaks as big as anyone's, and after all of his bitter, tax-resolving sex-tape misfortune last summer, we're deeply sorry for his loss. Or at least we were before Arganese's gossipy publicity jig was up seconds later:
[A]t least her predilection for petite people has landed her a job. Arganese will be starring in Jeff Beacher's new show, Beacher's Burlesque, opening on Halloween in a yet-to-be-determined casino in Las Vegas. "She's one of the most beautiful girls I've ever seen, and as soon as I heard she was sleeping with every midget in town, I knew she was perfect for my show," Beacher told Page Six.
Evil! But rest assured these people will get what's coming to them — just ask Troyer's ex Ranae Shrider, who'll be the first to tell you it's not social climbing if your date is only 30 inches tall.
